I enjoyed him by observation. No, I do not know him, fully; especially not enough to determine how truthful his words are. After all, he is an orator. His mouth is what’s used to earn his bread and butter.
I want to feel you cozy up to me on the inside; you know, inside my feelings. You feel so good there.
artist: andre kohn, the kiss
If fear wasn’t a factor, I’d run to him. I’d love him—best I know how (that’s fear being a factor).
I’d bring him comfort and solace—if he’d take it (that’s fear speaking too).
Fear, you need to have several seats.
From my current point of view, I like him; his kindness wisdom quirkiness and humor.
Funny I never thought of returning to him—just thought us to be old flames with no embers smoldering.
Since his status change and he reached out to me, I’m seriously considering him.
Fear speaketh: What makes you think he wants you?
Fear, I asked you nicely to have several seats !
Well, as you can see, fear is a factor here. I need God’s guidance.
Long ago, I fearfully ran into someones space, not his arms, to rescue me from my torment. I put my own selfish desire first—to be comforted without giving comfort or love.
God wasn’t key; we were barely speaking.
I wanted what I wanted and it ended as a hot mess. Broken-hearted people scattered all over the lawn with rings, a name change, and papers.
Ten years out and I hope I’m wiser. I’ve learned the hard way that you can unwisely put yourself in the midst of something you can’t sustain. Or, you can seek wise counsel to live your dreams with fear not being a real factor at all.
I‘m choosing to be fearless this time by…
… seeking wise-counsel and walking in it.
… giving love as well as receiving it.
… being on speaking terms with God about his promises for me—yes and amen.
Fear, you are not a factor.
Our proximity is eons apart preventing satisfaction.
I need you to gratify my decades long of soul yearning. My itch desires relief. Can you do it, huh?
Honestly, until recently, neither of us knew smoldering embers for the other existed—intriguingly interesting.
Look at your sexy self, pushing all up on my psyche, whispering your feelings and crackling my synapses.
Oh, wow, what do we do with this latent itch we metaphorically need scratching?
I’m digging the depths out of you. You feel me?
When restraint weakens, will we telepathically unite satisfying our unresolved groove?
Will we welcome each other in out of the emotional thunderstorm to remedy this thing—this us?
Say what? I didn’t know it was like that.
Mind thrusting each other match-for-match as I come up to meet your truth-telling flow arching my mind’s back—taking all of you in.
That’s it. Lay it down. Put your word-spell on me—like the best you evah had.
I’m feeling your truth all of what’s inside you.
I’m digging your flow, maestro, anticipating you even more.
The tempo of our life’s concerto quickens—oh, the crescendo.
You have me right there like once upon a time when you were my refuge the place I’d go when I needed shelter from the outside world’s disharmony.
As I reflect upon what we once shared, I wonder if I’m over romanticizing what was or am I feeling your psychic energy flowing towards me letting me know that it was and is all real.
What are you doing, thinking, being, freeing?
Like a see-saw or whirling twirling swirling but never unnerving
I do dig you like an ole school record
‘Cause, Baby, I love your ways
You are re-quieting enticing spicing like the House of Atredis, my Lord
You are worthy I’m glad you know that
Float on, soar, and carry on your Highness
Beauty is her name—so accommodating, ego stroking spirit of yours elating
I don’t know if I trust her, but, if you do, if that pleases you, go on through to do you ‘cause she is pursuing you though you already knew
We all need our Strokerz for they give us that flesh zinger that twinge and fix we need
I guess the rest of us have to sort through our own mess as we see your groupies serenade you, throw their word panties at you
It sickens me when some floozy tries to woo you with her honey dipped words rolling off her lips
The pretty ones make us wince because we don’t believe in our own beauty (have mercy) see our own worth our own value if we did we would not be jealous it’s true
Pure jealousy haunts me when I see you flirting with those Prancers and Posers because I can’t have you
Now, I see that I want to own you, control you, make you the property that I so loathe being for anyone else…
©2012 Nesi Writes
Reflecting upon that insidious institution called marriage; I realize I was not as I presented myself to the world during my nuptial. Since my authentic self hid, I divorced—moving forward, allowing myself to emerge.
With intent, I declined the bitterness invitation, but she continuously lurked at my door. Today, I consciously choose who I want to be—a woman void of bitterness. Strict orders in the book of law prevent bitterness from trespassing near my heart.
Each day, I try on my adventures like clothes—tossing some and adding others to my hope chest.
Amidst coupling, marriage, and otherwise, I realize that when the energy of two people collides, a dynamic specific to that union occurs. Universal laws exist; preventing a previous union’s replication from ever occurring again. Each union is its own one-of-a-kind silo. Oh, what exciting news!
So, release your fear and anxiety that your next union will be as the previous—never gonna happen. Is that not wonderful?
I look forward to experiencing my multi-faceted wonderful self within all my everyday encounters. Wish me well as I send reciprocal love back to you…
©2012 Nesi Writes
I’m in love with a ghost.
He woos me sweetly, affectionately, seductively, and tenderly—yet he’s an apparition.
This is not normal because he doesn’t exist in the corporeal even though I know him intimately.
Meeting him as a teen, his elusiveness captured my heart—lock, stock, and barrel.
I’d sadly wait for his appearance though when he did, I’d seem invisible to him.
My love for him traversed through the decades.
His latest manifestation is in a handsome, intelligent, gifted, poetic soul who’s not right for me.
His initial presence remains the same even though he’s taken on many shapes throughout the years.
Recently, he appeared in his disembodied state to assure me that all is well.
The very next day he made a worldwide appearance, physically looking as he does in the non-corporal.
He informed the masses of his real day-to-day life.
©2012 Nesi Writes