You were cut deeply bleeding all over other people and on yourself from emotional wounds inflicted by life people and self.
No one could stanch those painful oozing wounds—not even you; though you tried by running from here to yonder.
The knowledge you gained/the souls you encountered just heaped more cuts upon your sorely lacerated body.
Instead of healing or causing a healthy shift, the knowledge and encounters re-traumatized you over-and-over again like the constant re-traumatization you experienced after being abandoned as a child.
So, checking out of the world is no big surprise.
You couldn’t handle it any longer.
Self-preservation eventually kicks in for any human being repeatedly tortured.
Shame and fear are upon you feeling the woe of being found out/of being a fraud/of being unacceptable.
The reason you push people away is a result of your own abandonment (initial/continuously/repeatedly); you’ve become the consummate Abandoner.
Look around you.
You’ve pushed them all away.
You’re not skilled in the art of staying or interacting with others who’re experts in sticking it out.
Now, you‘re at home with your isolation even though it torments you.
But little bird—caged though you might be—pretty soon you’re going to fly; but, only at your own pace.
It’s alright to grow slowly.
It’s alright to grow differently.
Images: Lacee Griffiths @lacee.griff